“Selfish”. Does that word make you feel uncomfortable,like you’re doing something wrong?
Well I’m here to tell you there’s a selfish revolution happening and YOU’RE INVITED! By being selfish, you can have better relationships with people and YOURSELF as well as making you a HAPPIER person.
Photo via Anthony Tran on Unsplash
Being selfish can be as simple as staying in bed and reading with a cup of coffee
I bet you’re thinking “Yeah it sounds wonderful to just do what you want but I’ve got a job/bills/kids/dog/cat etc, I can’t do that!” And you’d be right. I’m not telling you to throw your responsibilities to the wind but you can strive to create more balance in your life. It can be as simple as deciding to turn your phone off and take a relaxing bubble bath, going to bed at 7:30 pm if you want to or splurging on that photography course you keep trying to convince yourself is expensive and unnecessary.
It seems like somewhere along the line, someone came up with the concept that being selfish is a bad thing and it’s about time we reclaimed that word!
Why is being selfish important you ask…?
You are the only one in charge of YOU
No one is going to look after you but YOU, so why are we so hesitant to put ourselves first? Is it a rite of passage not to put ourselves first, like the final step in adulting? What is the benefit of not putting ourselves first? Sure, sometimes there are certain situations that you can’t put yourself first but that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your needs and wants all the time.
By making yourself a priority and being selfish from time to time, you are sending a clear message to yourself and others that your time is exactly that : YOURS.
How can you expect other people to respect you and your time, if you don’t?
Imagine having a conversation with your friend. It goes a little like this:
Friend: I never have time to do what I want. I have so much to do all the time. I don’t feel like I’m able to give anyone my 100%.
What advice would you give to your friend?
“You need time to yourself” “You can say no” “You have to put yourself first”
We know all the right things to say to other people. We can clearly see what the other person needs but why can’t we do that for ourselves?
Making yourself a priority means taking control of your life. Being selfish has no room for autopilot. It requires to make conscious decisions based on what you want and this will help you get a clear picture of how you want to spend your life.
Photo by Francisco Moreno via Unsplash
Sometimes you need to press pause and escape to the beach for the day
By being selfish, you have more to give to others
Yes doing something nice for someone feels good. Science even backs it up. (The University of Notre Dame has a study on the Science of Generosity) But do you know the feeling of doing someone a favour when it’s the last thing you want to be doing? You are distracted thinking of other things you need or want to do. Maybe you’re trying to rush the process and getting frustrated.
There’s no way you can give someone 100% if your giving cup is empty!
Now picture this. You are not starving your needs and wants and when someone asks you for a favour or to hang out, you don’t feel that dread of telling them you’re too busy. Or worse, you end up helping them out of politeness and because you don’t know how to say no. By being selfish, you can give when you truly have 100% to give. And the quality of what you give will be night and day compared to before!
You can motivate and inspire others
We all know that one person who goes for what they want, unapologetically. They are not afraid to say no to things that doesn’t serve them and they take chances when opportunities arise. By being selfish and taking control of your life and decisions, you inspire others to follow in your footsteps.
The say happiness is contagious. Let’s make selfishness and self-care contagious.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez
You can’t give 100% to people if your needs and wants are not met
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you’re getting pulled in so many different directions and you feel like you don’t have time to do what YOU want to do.Let’s change that. How does doing what you want, saying no to things that don’t interest or serve you and giving your time only when your cup is full?
If making big changes in your life seems overwhelming, check out this awesome article from Buzzfeed on tiny changes you can make! 19 Tiny Self-Care Tips to Try Out